Parental Guidance

The Man in the Mirror | Chapter 8 | Children: How to Avoid Regrets | “We don’t have to be the sweetest guy in the world to have an impact on our kids.  What seems like a bore and a waste of time can be a great inspiration to them.  They just need our time and attention.” (italics added) – Patrick M. Morley

scrip·ture | Proverbs 22:6 ⁶ Train up a child in the way he should go; Even when he is old he will not depart from it.

de·vo·tion | I am reminded every day of the influence, I have on my children. First of all, because of how annoying their humor is and secondly, the amount of characteristics and mannerisms they have picked up from just watching me. My oldest son (7) will laugh out loud in a crowd of his friends when I say something sarcastic, where his friends look at me like I am some kind of alien.  My middle son (5) cannot take a serious picture if his life depends on it.  My youngest daughter (1) whines when she is hungry and wants to play video games all the time…ok, the video game part is not true, but you know what I am getting at.  They truly have become children in the likeness of me. A key word in all that I have said is character. As parents, we must ask ourselves, what type of character we hope for our children. And, as Christian parents, we have an even larger role in making sure our children develop Christ Like character.

Here is the deal; God has asked us to create a Godly environment where our children marinate in Godly choices and actions. We are asked to write the faith, hope, and love of God on their hearts. More importantly, we are to, as Titus 2:7-8 states, “Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show Integrity, Dignity, and Sound Speech that cannot be condemned..."[emphasis added by me], or as it states in Joshua 24:15, "...But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”

As Christian fathers, we must model our lives through the life and image of our God and His son Jesus Christ. Matthew 12:33-35 "Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit..." Seems pretty clear how much influence we have as godly men and fathers in providing the right godly marinate for our children. Through Jesus Christ's words, we are reminded as Christian parents just how much of an influence we will have on our children. Good people bring good things out of the good stored up in them, and evil people bring evil things out of the evil stored up in them. I am reminded of something James, my homeless friend, told me one lunch time. He said that his grandma told him once, "You live wicked, you die wicked." Although striking, it is a very simple truth. We should model ourselves as Jesus Christ, and create that marinate that will influence our children into making good fruit of themselves, but also influence them to influence good fruit of their children, neighbors, friends, and even their "enemies."

In all of this, the only way we will have any influence in our kid’s life is if we are present. If you were only given 37 seconds a day with your child, how would you use that time to influence your children? Would you use that time to influence them in prayer? Would you use that time to influence them in servitude? Would you use that time to influence them in praise and worship to our LORD? Are you giving your child a chance to see you as godly influence? Are you as dedicated to the wellness of your child’s godly character as you are in meeting your bonus or getting that next promotion? If I only spent 37 seconds a day with my children, my oldest would never have developed such a great sense of humor. If I spent all my time chasing after the American Dream, my middle child wouldn’t ruin every family picture with grace. If I spent all my time trying to provide for my family away from my family, my youngest probably wouldn’t smile every time I walk in the door. If I wasn’t present, more than 37 seconds a day, I would never get the chance to live out God’s desire for being a godly influence to my children and being the spiritual leader that my children deserve.

prayer | Dear LORD, my God and my Savior. I ask you LORD to continue to equip me with the truth and knowledge and strength to live a righteous life that reflects your character. Help me to create a Godly marinate that I can share with my children. Also LORD, lend my children your Spirit in the times where they have choices that are outside my influence, and that you find it in your steadfast mercy to keep them within your everlasting arms. Through thought, word, and deed I will be You Lord God and Your son Jesus Christ. Amen

Daily Alone Time with God |

Chapter of the Week | Titus 2

Mon·day | Deuteronomy 6:6-7 ⁶ And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. ⁷ You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

Tues·day | Ephesians 6:4 ⁴ Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Wednes·day | Psalms 127:3-5 ³ Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, The fruit of the womb a reward. ⁴ Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. ⁵ Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

Thurs·day | Proverbs 1:8-9 ⁸ Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, ⁹ for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.

Fri·day | Psalm 78:4 ⁴ We will not conceal them from their children, But tell to the generation to come the praises of the LORD, And His strength and His wondrous works that He has done.

Hallway Friends

The Man in the Mirror | Chapter 7 | Broken Relationships | “By having the same attitude as Jesus Christ, we can break with the self-interested, secular view of the world.  Our score in relationships will improve so much we might even make the dean’s list!” – Patrick M. Morley

scrip·ture |

Hebrews 10:24-25 24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another-and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Matthew 7:7-8 ⁷ “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. ⁸ For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

de·vo·tion | When I worked in Minneapolis, I would have meetings at multiple buildings disparately located throughout downtown. As I walked from building to building, there were those people that I would recognize only in passing and would give a quick nod or a “how’s it going?” They would do the polite Midwest thing and give a nod in return, say “good, and you?” I called these people my hallway friends. They seemed like nice people, but I never thought of taking any real time to get and know these people. I didn’t even know their names. I was content with them being my hallway friend as long as I didn’t have to take the time to invest in a personal relationship. I was comfortable with knowing I didn’t need to take the time to personally know them.

At times I would find myself in a meeting where one of my hallway friends would be present. Like our hallway passing, we would have our surface level pleasantries. Sometimes I found myself taking the next step and asking a hallway friend to coffee. Slowly, as I invested time and effort into these hallway friends, I would learn more and more about them. I wouldn’t just learn their name, I would find out what they liked to do. I would find out their career aspirations. I would hear praises and complaints about their job. In some cases, I would invest more with these hallway friends. The more I invested the less were a hallway friend, they became a personal friend. They became a friend where we would share not just work stuff, but life stuff with each other. We felt comfortable sharing our personal joys, frustrations, and private opportunities. They went from being a surface level hallway friend to a personal life partner that could hold me accountable and help me grow.

In our Christian life, we can find ourselves wandering the church or our men’s groups only satisfied with making hallway friends. We rarely put the time into creating relationships that allow us to grow in wisdom and companionship with our fellow brothers. We stagnate our personal spiritual growth by keeping our brothers far enough away, where we only see them as a person we politely nod to and say “how’s it going?” Even worse, we wander our Christian life only satisfied with God being one of those hallway friends. We become content just knowing His name and not investing more into knowing Him personally.

A.W. Tozer writes, “Everything is made to center upon the initial act of “accepting” Christ [hallway friend] … and we are not expected thereafter to crave any further revelation of God to our souls. We have been snared in the coils of a spurious logic which insists that if we have found Him we need no more seek Him.” We miss out on building a personal relationship with our LORD, where we are content with just accepting God.  We become lazy in our journey to continuously ask, seek, and knock. We need to not be content with keeping God as a hallway friend.  We must seek Him out on a daily basis and pray with Him, read with Him, cry with Him, and experience joy with Him. Let us drop our complacency and seek a relationship built on a desire to know Him, and let that trickle into our relationships in our work, community, and church. Let us not be content in being hallway Christians.

Prayer | LORD, praise and worship to You, my personal God. Praise and worship to You for sending us Your son Jesus the Christ, a deliberate act on Your part to move beyond being a hallway friend to your people, but advocating a personal relationship with us.  Forgive me LORD for my comfortableness, my laziness, and my complacency in not asking, seeking, or knocking on a daily basis.  I commit myself to treating you more than just a hallway friend.  I also pray that you continue to put those people in my life that I can grow with spiritually and personally.  Lend me Your Spirit that I may break down my walls of being a comfortable Christian and I can find in my everyday wonderings a brother that can share in my worship and praise.  Amen

Daily Alone Time with God |

Chapter of the Week | Proverbs 3

Mon·day | Proverbs 13:20 ²⁰ Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm

Tues·day | Proverbs 17:17 ¹⁷ A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Wednes·day | Ephesians 4:2-3 ² with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, ³ eager to maintain the unity of the Spirt in the bond of peace.

Thurs·day | Isaiah 40:31 ³¹ But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on the wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Fri·day | 2 Peter 1:5-7 ⁵ For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, ⁶ and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, ⁷ and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love.

I Wish

The Man in the Mirror | Chapter 6 | The Secret of Job Contentment | “The issue, I learned, is that our circumstances don’t determine our contentment, but our faith and trust in God do” – Patrick M. Morley
scrip·ture | 1 Timothy 6:6-7 ⁶ But godliness with contentment is great gain. ⁷ For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it.

de·vo·tion | It was fall, and I drove into town with my mom to open up the Sears store she owned.  As we walked up to the front door, I could see the bundle of magazines sitting there.  “It’s here, it’s here” I yelled out.  The fall Sears’s toy Christmas catalogue had come and the entire bundle was sitting right at my feet.  Selfishly asking my mom if I could bring the bundle in, she said yes, I grabbed the magazines and promptly ran to the back room and cut it open.

I spent the rest of that morning looking at all the toys I wanted to get.  “Oh, I want that one!” “Mom, look at these, I wish I could have both of these!” I continued to circle toys I wanted to have, toys that were better than anything I had at home.  These were toys that if I didn’t have them, I would be the saddest little boy, because that meant I had to play with all those useless toys I had at home.

Fast Forward | It is fall, and I drove up to my mailbox in front of my house.  As I opened the mailbox, I could see the magazine sitting on top of all the other mail.  “It’s here, it’s here” I yelled in my head.  The fall Northern Tool Christmas catalogue had come.  Selfishly I threw all the other mail aside and started looking at all the tools I wanted to get.  “Oh, I already have a hammer, but man, this one has anti vibration!” “Oh, I wouldn’t have to manually turn my screw driver, I could hook it up to my compressor and it will do it for me!” “Oh, I need a new compressor to run the new screw driver I am going to get!” “I wish I could get all of these things.”

Not much has changed has it?  As kids, we were always looking for the next best thing, looking for that one toy that was going to bring us joy.  As kids, we were caught up in having a full toy box to choose from and not content with the boxes full of toys in the attic.  As an adult, I have a garage full of tools that at one point was going to change my life.  I have 8 sets of screw drivers, 4 hammers, and thingamajig’s and thingamajob’s that were to fill the void of the un-contentedness I was feeling with me tools.

As a Christian, I find myself doing the same thing.  I approach God like I do my fall Northern Tool Christmas catalogue.  I start asking Him to give me this and to give me that, I wish I could have this and I wish I could have that.  I ask him to help me get promoted or to give me something new to do, because what I am doing is just not doing it for me anymore.  If I could just start looking to God less for improving my already blessed life and start praising Him for what I have today.  If I could just start looking into what He has provided and find satisfaction in the wonderful life that He has sent before me.  If I focus my prayers on the joy of His salvation and the simplicity in His love and grace for us, maybe, just maybe, as the Rolling Stones famously penned, “You can’t always get what you want; But if you try sometimes well you just might find; You get what you need”

Prayer | LORD, I find myself trying to identify just what it is I want that is going to create a satisfaction in me.  I am finding myself looking, seeking, and asking You to help me find whatever that is that is going to bring me more joy.  LORD, I bow my head to You, and ask you to forgive the foolishness that is in me.  I praise You for just how wonderful You are.  I thank You so much for the blessings you have put into my life.  I want this prayer to be a prayer ended in praise to You.  No I wish, just I love You and thank You for Your awesomeness!  Amen 

Daily Alone Time with God |

Chapter of the Week | Read Philippians 3

Mon·day | Matthew 6:25-26 ²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear.  Is not life more than food, and body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not much more valuable than they?

Tues·day | Hebrews 13:5 ⁵ Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

Wednes·day | Ecclesiastes 3:13 ¹³ That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil-this is the gift of God.

Thurs·day | Philippians 4:11 ¹¹ Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.

Fri·day | Proverbs 30:8 ⁸ Keep deception and lies far from me, Give me neither poverty nor riches; Feed me with the food that is my portion,