"The Rest of the Story"

The Man in the Mirror | Chapter 9 | Wives: How to be Happily Married | “That “love feeling” may be there, or it may not. But love is not a feeling, and we are to love our wives first as an act of our will…But the love we demonstrate is a decision made as a deliberate act of the will. Biblical love is a decision, not a feeling.” – Patrick M. Morley

scrip·ture | Ephesians 5:22-24 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

de·vo·tion | Finally, some Biblical fire power for my at home arguments! I cannot believe it has taken so long for me to find the evidence I needed that my wife needs to treat me like a god…yeah! …um, NO! I don’t know how many times I have heard Ephesians 5:22-24 quoted by men to justify their pig headedness and “Oh holy where art thou” ways in which they approach their marriage and their relationship with their wife. This is usually how it goes, “See, it says it right here in the Bible, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord”, see, she should be doing as I say!” Seriously, I have seen this said multiple times in action and in debate. These men of “faith” have made a grievous error. Like many Christians, they need to take the advice of Paul Harvey and read, “the rest of the story.” Without doing so, they have seriously set themselves up to lead a marriage of continued trials if not total failure. Like many of the males in the time period of Christ, the men of today look at marriage as some kind of male patriarchal leadership. Like the Roman Empire, they feel they hold dominion over their whole household.

Yet, in Paul’s writing, he shows us something different. His writing flows almost like a poem. His message ebbs and flows between the nuances of a loving relationship, comparing and contrasting a mutual bond between a husband and wife. Let’s take a second to read “the rest of the story”. Ephesians 5:25-26 “25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,” We see how Paul’s poetical writing provides the contrasting yet mutual relationships between husband and wife. The relational significance reminds me of Yin and Yang.

Everyone has heard of yin and yang (). Yin and yang is defined as: two principles, one dark and feminine (yin) and one bright and masculine (yang) whose interaction influences the destinies of creatures and things. Yin and yang is a beautiful compliment, a balance of opposite yet mutually respectful powers. A marriage is not meant to operate in a yin and yin or yang and yang model. It is meant to have mutually exclusive traits and strengths that contrast yet complement each other.

In what ways as a husband can I love my wife then? How can I practically bring that balance to my marriage? Paul writes, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church”. The word love in the text does not denote emotional love (phileó) rather it means to put the needs of others in front of your own, known as agapé. Agapé truly denotes a love that replicates the love that Jesus the Christ has shown to us. Not only does Jesus love us emotionally, but more importantly, he loves us agapé style. This represents a truly sacrificial love, a love where servitude and humbleness are a prime make-up of its character.

As godly husbands and fathers, we must ask ourselves, what am I contributing to my marriage to deliver a mutually respectful love? Am I expecting and contributing to my marriage expecting that a yang and yang marriage will suffice? Am I loving my wife emotionally (phileó), but more importantly, sacrificially (agape)? Challenge yourself this week. Think of all the ways in which Christ loved the church. List off all the ways in which Jesus the Christ loved the church in the form of servitude and ask yourself, in what ways can I work to have the love for my wife reflect Jesus’ love for His church?

prayer | LORD, as always, You know best. Thank you so much for the knowledge You have shared with us in the Word, but also in the character of Your son Jesus. It is so humbling to read Your expectations of me within my marriage, and finding those areas in which I must be honest with myself on where I am failing. LORD, grant me Your steadfast forgiveness, and lead me with Your Spirit to be a more godly husband and a more godly father. Continue to deliver Your truths to me and smack me upside the head when I become lazy and revert back to my yang and yang ways. Praise, honor, and glory to You always and forever. AMEN!

Daily Alone Time with God |

Chapter of the Week | 1 Corinthians 7

Mon·day | Ephesians 5:22-33 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Tues·day | Proverbs 18:22 22 He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.

Wednes·day | Hebrews 13:4-7 4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. 5 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” 6 So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?” 7 Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith.

Thurs·day | 1 Peter 4:8 8 Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.

Fri·day | Ephesians 4:2-3 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, 3 eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.